THE BEST CLASS EVER

Making History Since Nineteen-Nordy Four


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RETTIG FIGHTS A BUNCH OF FIFTH GRADERS

Larry Rettig will be appearing on the new FOX game show, “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?”, on Thursday night at 9 PM.

As you know Larry is currently on probation for lying and cheating to our class. He told so many lies that our class had to severely punish him.

If Larry wins a lot of money on Thursday he will be off probation. Also, he must donate half of his winnings to the Class of 1994. That money will be used to cryogenically freeze Chico’s bag “Fred.”

In addition, Larry must thank our class on national television for making him who he is. Without us he would be nothing or he would probably be dumber than a fifth grader.

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LET US CATER YOUR REUNION!

Eric Stuart received word that the Class of 1992 and the Class of 1993 are holding reunions this year. He has offered to cater the events free of charge. What’s he serving?

KNUCKLE SANDWICHES!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THOSE CLASSES WILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS OURS. IF THEY KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR THEM, THEY WILL HEED THIS WARNING: GIVE IN NOW! THEY CAN EITHER JOIN OUR CLASS OR THEY WILL BE DEFEATED!


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PRESIDENTIAL PROCLAMATION

Yesterday was the most important day of the year for all of us: President’s Day. Did you thank your Class President for all he has done?

If you didn’t, you are in luck. We have received word that your Class President – Mr. Mo Cheeks – has exercised executive privilege and declared this to be President’s Week.

Please contact your Class President immediately and tell him how awesome he is (not to mention how good looking he is, how amazing he is at fishing, how good his breath smells, and how he has a good firm handshake).


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KATIE HEWSON

For anyone in our class who does not already know Jamie Hewson’s sister, Katie Hewson, passed away last week. She was only 27-years-old.

Here is a copy of the obituary which ran in the Worcester Telegram & Gazette with information on the memorial services.

STERLING— Kathleen “Katie” E. Hewson, 27, of 1 Lucas Road, died Wednesday, February 7, 2007, of injuries sustained from an accident in St. John, Virgin Islands. She leaves her mother, Denise A. (Drechsel) Hewson of Sterling; her brother, Jeffrey and his wife Anna Hewson of Worcester; her sister, Jaime and her husband Nate Wood of Hudson, New Hampshire; a paternal grandfather, Charles R. Hewson, Sr. of Jefferson, Maine; two beloved nephews, Peter and Nicholas Hewson; and many aunts, uncles and cousins. Her father, Charles R. Hewson predeceased her. She was born in Worcester and lived her life in Sterling, Orlando, Boston, Cape Cod and St John. Katie graduated from Wachusett Regional High School in 1997, attended the University of Central Florida in Orlando and graduated from Northeastern University with a Bachelor’s Degree in International Business. She traveled extensively abroad and enjoyed music, photography, crew, running and scuba diving. She possessed a love of life that was contagious and an amazing sense of humor that will be missed by all that knew her. Her personality brightened any room she walked into. Relatives and friends are invited to attend calling hours from 5 to 8 p.m. on Friday, February 16 in the Miles-Sterling Funeral Home, 100 Worcester Road, Sterling. A memorial service and celebration of her life will be held at 11 a.m. on Saturday, February 17, at The First Church in Sterling, 6 Meeting House Hill Road, Sterling. Burial will be private in Jefferson, Maine. In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to the American Red Cross of Central Massachusetts, The Remillard Building, 2000 Century Drive, Worcester, MA 01606, the Susan G. Komen for the Cure, 5005 LBJ Fwy., Ste. 250, Dallas TX 75244, or the American Heart Association, 20 Speen Street, Framingham, MA 01701 www.milesfuneralhome.com

Calling Hours: 2/16/07 from 5-8 p.m.in the funeral home
Date of Funeral: 02/17/07
Funeral Home: Miles-Sterling Funeral Home 100 Worcester Road, Sterling
Location: The First Church in Sterling, 6 Meeting House Hill Road, Sterling
Time:11 a.m.