THE BEST CLASS EVER

Making History Since Nineteen-Nordy Four


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APRIL FOOLS!


Class President Mo Cheeks has done it again!!! He has pulled off the unthinkable.

In the greatest prank in the history of April Fools Day pranks, he was able to convince all the other classes that he had resigned as Class President yesterday afternoon.

All but one class (THE CLASS OF ’94) bit on the news that he had retired.

“My phone was ringing off the hook,” Vice President Tyler Bradshaw, who was in on the joke, said. “You name it, they were calling. Presidents from the Classes of ’59, ’63, ’67, ’69, ’72, ’86, ’93…. the list goes on and on ’till the break of dawn. They all were trying to pull off trades to get our top performers and ransack our class. It was what I term a wholesale looting. They viewed his resignation as an opportunity to bring us down.”

Unfortunately for them, Mo Cheeks was still in power and he has promised to hand down repercussions to those that are found guilty in the forms of fines, suspensions and tough talk.

“But, that is all a matter for another day,” Mo Cheeks said. “Now is time to celebrate the fact that we were able to pull off one of the most amazing April Fools day pranks ever.”

And that – celebrating – is what class members were doing as of press time. Here is a smattering of opinions from top leaders in our class:

  • “This is the greatest achievement of any class in Wachusett history.” – Historian and WRHS Superintendent Dr. Pandiscio (ex-officio member of the Class of ’94)
  • “This is why I joined the Best Class Ever.” – Mark Pirani
  • “People are rioting in the streets. This is bigger than when WRHS football won states.” – Adam Porcaro
  • “Shotgun go Boo-Yaa.” – Beth Woodcome
  • “The jam has just been pumped.” – Steve Coyle
  • “If you were to ask me what I wanted more, $1 million or for Mo Cheeks to successfully pull off this prank, I would choose the latter because that means our class is still on top.” – Dan Quist
  • “When I was a sophomore, my April Fools Day joke was to put chalk in an eraser in my English class. This trumps that tenfold maybe even elevenfold.” – Sam Pulda
  • “I wish every day was April Fools day, but instead it should be called Class of ’94 Day because we deserve our own holiday.” – Jay Hooten
  • “On June 7, 1993, I cast my vote for Mo Cheeks to be our senior class president. Today, that vote has paid off in spades.” – Mark Palmer


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MO CHEEKS RESIGNS

In a stunning turn of events, President Mo Cheeks announced his resignation earlier today.

His announcement comes as a shocker to many. Experts are predicting that this could lead to the downfall of The Best Class Ever.

Class officers were scrambling to respond to this crisis as best they could. Mo Cheeks’ best friend and Vice-President Tyler Bradshaw was sworn in as Class President late this evening in the small caf. “I have dreamt of the presidency for so long, but not like this. Not like this,” Bradshaw said as he fought back tears.

Through the sea of turmoil, Bradshaw urged calm.

Following his inauguration, he met with Dr. Pandiscio to chart the best course of action over the next few weeks for his fellow classmates. Dr. Pandiscio admitted that if the Class of ’94 were to collapse, the ripples would be felt throughout the district. “It would be nothing short of a disaster,” he said. “WRHS, as we know it, would be no longer.”

In recent months, friends of Mo Cheeks had begun to notice a change in their leader.

Dana Gray attributed it to seeing his ex-girlfriend, Leigh Ann “Lee-Hun” Steele, run off with another man two years ago. “I think it was Shakespeare who said, ‘The courses of true love never did run smooth,” Dana said. “Mo Cheeks never fully recovered from the loss of Lee-Hun. It affected his life, but more importantly it affected his presidency.”

Since then the Class of ’94 has been in a state of chaos.

  • * Rumors of a steroid scandal have threatened to unwravel the class.
  • * There has been talk that the 15 Year Reunion will not be held.
  • * And the Spygate controversy – allegations that Mo Cheeks illegally filmed the Class of 93’s high school graduation – surfaced, threatening to tarnish The Best Class Ever’s reputation.

While some blame love, conspiracy theorists like Sam Flaherty lay the blame elsewhere: LISA CEDERBAUM. He was poring over photographic evidence that shows Cederbaum and Mo Cheeks in a heated conversation in a NYC bar last month.

“What were they talking about?” Flaherty asked. “Why would Mo Cheeks ever be seen in public with Lisa Cederbaum? These are questions that need to be asked.”

He took it one step further claiming that Cederbaum was attempting to bribe his class president. Following Mo Cheeks’ historic trade of Lisa Cederbaum, allegations surfaced that she had a videotape of the 1993 WRHS graduation.

Thus far, Cederbaum has come forward with no videotape. If such a tape does exist, Flaherty said, it would jeopardize the integrity of the class. He was confident, however, that Mo Cheeks would never compromise the class in such a manner.

“Newspapers made a damaging allegation about the so-called Spygate affair,” Flaherty said. “I believe it’s something that never happened. If so, why wouldn’t – months after she’s been traded – anything have come out? But we live in a society where people can make any kind of allegations. It has to be substantiated.”

Through it all Brant Harmon called for unity. Tonight he will be hosting a peace vigil for his former leader. “In our time of need, we need each other,” Brant said.

Brant is also discussing the possibility of forming a Mo Cheeks Support Group – a coalition of concerned classmates who are having difficulty dealing with the reality that Mo Cheeks has resigned. “I never thought it would be this tough,” Brant said. “I hope I can get through this a stronger man.”