This past November was historic on many fronts. Our Class has made so much history they should teach classes about us at Wachusett. I am so serious about this I am turning purple right now.

As your Class President I relive the greatest moment of my life in my head every day. That moment was my speech to you in 1993 when I promised to lead our class out of the ashes and into the promised land.

As you know Jimmy Saunders and Lisa Cederbaum were fiscally and socially irresponsible leaders. Our class was on death row. With those clowns in charge we were the laughingstock of the town. It took a lot of work, but I turned us around big time. Now we are the envy of every high school class in the world.

2005 has been such a momentous one it is not even funny. This past November I had a chance to continue our success when I attended the Wedding Of The Year, that of PATRICK AND LIANE TINSLEY!

This wedding was fortuitous on many, many fronts. I was able to firm up commitments from the Seven Tinsley Brothers. Known as The Seven Wonders of The World, these brothers have turned our class into a true dynasty.

Our future is locked up for 2020 and beyond. We are so loaded with talent that I can afford to take a year or two off in Jamaica and live the high life, Ricky Williams style.

You voted me your President because I am an amazing leader and an amazing recruiter. Some of the Tinsleys said “Show Me The Money.” Damn right I did.

With other Tinsleys I used big words like “championship” and “blitzkrieg.” They didn’t know what hit them.

And finally there was Dan The Man Tinsley (T-2). He did not want to let his class go. After opening up my check book and buying him about eight mojitos, he was singing a different tune. I tell you right now that Dan Tinsley is Phi Slamma Jamma. Summa Cum Laude. Believe me when I say that he will be starting immediately.

Without further a due, I present to you the Seven Wonders Of The World and newest members of our class: Dan, Michael, David, Sean, Christopher, Matt and King Pat Tinsley.

‘NUFF RESPECT

I recently had a chance to sit down with Reunion King, David “JOOONES” Laidlaw, and talk about The Class of 1994, politics and how his life has changed since the 10th Year Reunion. The following is a brief Q & A held with JOOONES.

CHICO: So things have been pretty crazy since the reunion.

JONES: Tell me about it. It’s been non stop, dude. I’ve been flying all over the world, meeting with world leaders, chatting online with babes all day, you name it. As you know St. Ides came out with a promotional 40 oz. for me. They had my face on the bottle with my favorite saying, “Shit Hits Hard” underneath. I did some judging at some ghetto booty contests for them. That was pretty cool. I love ghetto booty. I don’t have time to think anymore. I was guest judge at the National Bass Masters Tourney on Lake Champlain. That was a major highlight. I waved the checkered flag at Loudon last month. Everywhere I go, people are asking me for autographs, pictures, it doesn’t stop. But if you ask me, would I want to do it all over again… would I do everything the same? I would have to say “Hell yeah”, Stone Cold Steve Austin style.

CHICO: There’s been talks about assasination attempts on my life. How would you react to this?

JONES: [NODDING, HOLDING BACK TEARS] I heard about this. Look, you’re a president. You’re a leader. With great power comes great responsibility. I called Doug [DAVE’S BROTHER] when I heard about the assassination attempts on your life. I told him if they were to assassinate you, if this criminal element were successful, that I would head to Holden immediately. I would take the oath of office and assume command.

CHICO: Thank you. That means a lot.

JONES: No, our class, if we are to continue to be the best class ever… well, we would need a strong leader. When my peers voted me the Reunion King, I realized that I needed to earn the right to be called a king. I had to prove myself. Now when I bleed, I bleed Wachusett green. Everyday, brother.

CHICO: That’s deep.

JONES: Here take these [JONES HANDS ME SEVERAL PAPERS]. This is a contingency plan. If these cowards are successful and they assassinate you, I am prepared. What’s the saying, yes, yes, yes… forewarned is forearmed. I have detailed plans, an outline for my first two years of office. I also have a short list for people in my cabinet. I think the biggest thing in all of this, god forbid, would be to start funding for a memorial statue of you and Fred outside of the rubber room. Man, I love that room. I mean it was all rubber. When you fell on the floor you bounced back up. It was rubber.

CHICO: Yeah, I get it.

JONES: No, no… hey let’s run some drills.

CHICO: Okay. [AT THIS POINT IN THE INTERVIEW, JONES AND I HEADED OUTSIDE. HE BROUGHT HIS CROSSBOW AND SHOWED ME HOW EASILY I COULD BE ASSASSINATED – SEE PICTURE]

JONES: I think people have to see this picture. Even though it is so bloody, so gruesome, it needs to be seen. It is harsh, but our classmates, they have to see the reality of their President, their Chico being assassinated. This is what they would do. These scums would hold your head like a piece of meat. They would have you stuffed. A taxidermist would jump at the chance to work on your body. I want my classmates to see this and remember what an English poet once wrote, “Treason doth never prosper. What’s the reason? For if it prosper, none dare call it treason.” To all my classmates… I urge you to never forget your dying king Chico.

[JONES GETS UP AND EXITS]

Everyone wants to know, since the reunion, has Steve Coyle been PUMPING UP THE JAM? I think Coyle has answered that question himself. The JAM HAS TRULY BEEN PUMPED!

The Wachusett Class of 1994 is so awesome and amazing. Tom Brokaw may have written about The Greatest Generation, but time and time again our class has made a strong case for being the Greatest High School Class in the History of High Schools Ever.

The list of amazing names in our class is off the charts:

1. Dana Gray and his nice hair
2. The Tinman and his mad ball skills – breakin’ ankles like he was Allen Iverson
3. Roberge and his Get Dancin’ CD
4. The Laidlaws and their delicious bass
5. Larry Rettig the tallest person in our class
6. Steve Coyle who continues to PUMP UP THE JAM despite the naysayers
7. Megan Hehir and her New Kids On The Block poster collection
8. Pat Thompson and his push ups
9. Suzanne Breen and Lauren Sawyer those chicks from Princeton

These stalwarts and others from the Wachusett Class of 1994 are on par with the creme de la creme of this country.

We have totally earned the right to be called BEST CLASS EVER! This Blog will be updated periodically to keep in touch with class members, make announcements about weddings, births and any other monumental occasion like a John Dudley & Reyo Matthews kegger in the woods. In addition, we will talk trash about other classes because we can. There is nothing like the feeling of totally destroying someone in an online blog or chatroom. Don’t ever doubt the clout.

Please feel free to email us any updates, photos, or thoughts that you would like to share with other class members.