THE BEST CLASS EVER

As we reported earlier this year in an exclusive story there is no love lost between Jeff Carbonneau and Dave “JOOOOOONES” Laidlaw.

The acrimony between the two sides came to a head after the Sweet 16 Reunion when Carbs shocked the world by pulling off the greatest upset in history by snatching the Reunion King title from Laidlaw, a two-time winner in 1999 and 2004.

Since then a lawsuit has been filed with the Laidlaws claiming that Carbs has not only disrespected the title, but the Best Class Ever with his antics. Now comes the latest attack on Carbs’ character in a video first shown on TMZ earlier this week. Clearly, both Dave and Doug Laidlaw are pulling out all the stops in calling Carbs out as a fraud and a has-been.

And JOOOOOONES has put Carbs on notice with his performance of “It Takes Two” that he is gunning for the title, regardless of how the lawsuit turns out.

WARNING: The following video is not recommended for children under 12, those who are pregnant, anyone experiencing heart palpitations, diabetes or people with weak stomachs.

Todd Gully, his wife Amber and their three children.

We received some sad news regarding one of our fellow Wachusett classmates, Todd Gully (Class of 96), who was recently diagnosed with systemic scleroderma. This is an extremely rare disease that is a malfunction of the vascular system causing one’s skin, joints and vascular organs to thicken.

With Todd the disease has progressed to the point that he will need a double lung transplant with the procedure taking place in Pittsburgh at some point in the next year. This will require Todd to relocate to Pennsylvania for as long as five months.

As you can see Todd has a wonderful family that includes his wife Amber and their three children. Let’s all rally around the Gully’s and show them that they are part of a bigger, stronger family and help them get through this difficult time.

Here’s how you can help: donate to the Todd Gully Family Fund. Any little bit helps.

And to learn more about scleroderma visit here.

Nate just being angry at everything.

Last weekend Class President Chico Vader flew up to Maine to have a heart-to-heart with Nate Wood, the angriest person in our high school class, after reports that Wood had run over 37 squirrels in a fit of rage.

“Why are you so angry?” Chico asked Nate.

Nate replied that he had only been mentioned once on our class blog while Forty has been mentioned 17 times.

“That’s BS, dude,” Wood said. “I made this class.”

Wood talked about how much the Class of 94 meant to him. “That’s all I think about,” he said. “All day. Every day.”

One of Wood’s favorite moments – not only in the Class of 94’s history, but in his own life – is when he scored backstage tickets to Nightmare Alley’s Concert to Save the Rubber Room in 1992. “I got my ticket signed by every member of Nightmare Alley,” Wood said, listing Prucnal as his favorite drummer in the world. “He’s hands down better than anyone in Metallica or whatever band the kids are listening to today.”

Wood pulled out that exact concert ticket – laminated, of course – from his wallet that was autographed by Jeff Carbonneau, Prucnal and Nightmare Alley frontman Ara Asadoorian. “I’d never sell this for all the money in the world,” he said.

At that point Chico grabbed $75,000 in cold hard cash and flashed it in front of Wood’s face, making him an offer for the autographed ticket. Chico said he wanted to put the ticket in the Class of 94 Hall of Fame along with Fred, the greatest book bag ever, and a kivver caught by Dave Laidlaw from Bailey Pond.

Nate Wood refusing to sell his autographed Nightmare Alley concert ticket. “It’s all I have in this world,” Wood told reporters.

“Get that money out of my face,” Wood yelled, before he stormed off and started throwing rocks at bullfrogs near a man-made pond in his backyard. He then grabbed a semi-automatic pistol and began shooting it at a nearby tree. When he ran out of bullets Nate threw the gun at the tree before running into it headfirst and knocking himself unconscious.

A neighbor said this type of behavior is not unusual and that Nate is the angriest person on the street. In 2008 Beth Woodcome voted Nate Wood the angriest person she knows and as a result refused to dance with him at the Sweet 16 Reunion.

“He just has this scowl that makes you scared for your own safety,” Woodcome said.

Others agreed, especially Larry Rettig, who at one time used to be the angriest person in our class. “Nate took that title from me fair and square,” Larry said. “Dude is angry beyond belief. He called me cursing and muttering under his breath about the lack of respect he’s gotten from our class blog.”

Larry was unsure whether Wood deserved any respect. “I don’t think Nate ever paid his class dues. Plus, he voted for Cederbaum,” Rettig said.

When Nate finally woke up he drank a five-gallon bottle of moonshine and lit his Volkswagen Jetta on fire. “You want to see angry?” he asked as Chico ran for cover. “I’ll show you angry.”

Wood promised to bring down this blog if our class does not honor him. He then took a hammer and began smashing all the windows in his house as he repeatedly yelled, “There’s more where this came from!”

Class president Chico Vader had no comment when asked how he would respond to Wood’s threats. But Class of 94 advisor Dave Laidlaw said Wood’s threats are as empty as a Class of 1995 high school reunion. “Wood is all talk. He’s a paper champion. I’m the real deal,” Laidlaw said, pointing to the tattoo of a Wachusett Mountaineer on his leg as proof. “I got this the day we graduated: June 8, 1994. Always and forever, brother man.”

JOOOONES has promised to come after Carbs and expose him as a fraud.

Four years after Carbonneau stunned the world by dethroning Dave “JOOOOOOONES” Laidlaw as the Sweet 16 Reunion King it appears that JOOOOOOONES is still not happy with the outcome.

“Something is wrong when you dedicate your entire life to the Class of 94 and get beaten by a fair weather fan like Carbs,” he said outside the US District Courthouse in Boston yesterday afternoon after he filed a lawsuit alleging fraud and wrongdoing on the part of the Reunion Committee.

If successful legal experts say this lawsuit could change the way reunion awards are given out not only in Central Massachusetts, but throughout the country. “This is huge,” Megan Marshall, a lawyer specializing in tort reform, said. “Legally, this is a big thing.”

Laidlaw says he just wants what is rightfully his: THE REUNION KING crown.

“You have to earn it,” Carbonneau’s legal team said in a press release. “Clearly JONES did not earn it.”

But Laidlaw’s lawyer – the Class of 94’s own Brian Payson – said he begs to differ. “The facts are there in black and white,” said Payson, who is working the case pro bono.

Laidlaw’s case rests on the following points:

1. Class logs show that Laidlaw arrived at the Sweet 16 Reunion at 6:57 PM, three minutes before the actual start of the reunion and exactly 39 minutes before Carbs showed up. “That’s a blatant slap in the face to the best class ever,” Laidlaw said in tears. “You don’t show up late to a Class of 94 function. Ever. Show some decency.”
2. Laidlaw brought a vegetable platter with ranch dressing to the reunion. Carbs brought nothing. “I feed my friends,” Laidlaw said. “Carbs only feeds his ego.”
3. The hashtag #teamlaidlaw nearly brought down Twitter the night of the reunion as users of the social media were anticipating a three-peat from Laidlaw, who had won the reunion king title in 1999 and 2004. Not one #teamcarbonneau tweet was logged that evening.
4. For six months leading up to the reunion Laidlaw trained in the high altitude climate of Colorado where his body became a one-man wrecking crew.

Expert testimony is expected to come from a slew of Class of 94 dignitaries including JOOOOOOONES’ own brother Doug, Reyo Matthews, The Nerks, and Steve Coyle.

Lisa Cederbaum, a surprise witness, could be the key to the entire case as rumors has it she rigged the voting to bring JOOOOOOONES down. Laidlaw said he would not be surprised after how Cederbaum handled class finances in 1992. “She is ruining our class!” Laidlaw said as tears came down his face.

Oddly enough, Laidlaw is not seeking monetary compensation in the lawsuit. “All I want is respect,” he told reporters. “Not only for me. But the Class of 94. With Carbs wearing the crown we can NEVER have that. His win is tainted.”

JOOOONES said Carbs has disrespected the class with his reunion king win.

On Saturday Aimee (Barrette) Sweeney, a fellow Wachusett alum and Ali (Barrette) Bielawa’s sister, and her family lost their home in a fire in Portsmouth, Rhode Island.

The family is safe, but they lost one of their dogs, are still looking for their cat and their home can not be salvaged. Details on the incident and the extent of the fire can be found here.

The Portsmouth Fire Department is currently accepting donations and gift cards for the Sweeney’s. Details on how to donate can be found here. Any support for Aimee and her family is greatly appreciated.

And for those who are in the area friends of the Sweeney family are planning a walk this Saturday at the VFW Hall at 822 Anthony Road, Portsmouth, RI. From 2:30 to 5 PM people can drop off donations and at 3 PM there will be a family walk with a suggested donation of $10. The event will be held rain, shine or snow.

It wasn’t easy, but Chico sacrifices all to secure the greatest DJ of all time. DJ 11 PM blew the roof off the house in 2004 just imagine what he’s going to do in 2010.

Sweet 16: the party has already started. Are YOU going to be there?

Just days before the Sweet 16 Vice President T Money relayed this important message to our class: “If you don’t know now you know: Sweet 16. Me So Horny. Can it be any clearer?”

Dana Gray has been banned from attending the Sweet 16 Reunion after he was seen gallivanting around town with President Barack Obama this weekend.

When asked why he would betray his class president like this Dana replied that his loyalty is to one man and one man only: Obama.

“I refuse to salute Chico,” Dana said. “Chico is not MY president.”

At this point class officers are convening in a closed door session where they will reportedly charge Dana with war crimes, treason and label him as an enemy of the state.